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Ask people also to add a "result" - I appreciate that you did x. Because of you doing that, I felt/was able to/we succeeded in . . "
Give several examples of appreciations:
''Linda, I appreciate that you made sure we all had adequate time for breaks during our long retreat last week. I might have just kept on going and getting exhausted, and the breaks really helped me to refresh and think better.
Joe, thanks for checking in with me about how my big project was going - I felt supported. Pat, you really watch out for our safety, and that makes me feel more safe and also more aware.''
Say that the only response of the "receiver" of appreciations is to nod or say "thanks" or "you're welcome" - no denial or discussion at this time.
Directions
Give 5 minutes of quiet time in which each person can think about their appreciations for others and jot them down. Assure them that their notes are for themselves only. (Skipping this step may result in people being "not present" because of mentally composing what they will say while others are speaking. It also helps prevent people from feeling anxious. Assure them that if they think of something different later, they are not bound by what they wrote.)
Ask for a volunteer for the first person to "receive" appreciations.
Each person around the table offers one appreciation to that person.
The leader can help remind talkers to keep the comments short and on target, and for the receiver to just "take them in."
Alternatives
Creative alternatives to this activity are welcome!
