"If you have ever worked with, lived with, or been on a team with a group of people for more than a few days, you have likely found yourself frustrated, irritated, and exasperated over how someone isn't doing what they are "suppose to" be doing. You have an idea about how things should go so that everyone's needs are met and sure enough someone is not doing it that way . . . "
LaShelle Lowe-Chardé discusses how to deal with such difficulties by first establishing rapport, acknowledging what is working well , more often than you point out what is not working.
She then gives guidance about creating an atmosphere of genuine curiosity and caring, and gives a basic format for basic format for initiating a conversation about behavior that isn't working for you. This includes stating observations that conflict; identifying your own feeling and need; give the benefit of doubt; and requesting a discussion toward mutual understanding.
See details in the full article, [http://www.wiseheartpdx.org/post/564 Rules & Collaboration at Work] == on LaShelle's website, which is a valuable resource about communnication.